random musings - part 2

I have recently discovered a new way to while away time in class, other than sleeping. Blogging thru my cell. :D


From a talk with one of my friends: I love Arabic music. It takes me to a different level, makes me look at a new universe, and feel like I am existing in an ancient time in an extraordinary place. The rhythm inspires a strange way of thinking, makes me believe in a bizarre life.


I ask myself, as I have been doing for the last ten years of my life: Why is there so much arrogance in the world? Some of the filthy rich and the obnoxious, they disgust me, and made me want to run away from a part of my life a long while back. Undeserving, they repulse me. Insufferable and conceited, an unwanted weight, I wish they could be taught to look at one and all, with humility.


Why do i feel brain dead when it comes to studies? My mind just doesn't seem to work, I just can't seem to be able to think. It doesn't happen this way while pursuing other activities requiring the use of my psychedelically inclined, stillness denied brain. :P


Signing off yet again with these beautiful words :)
I gave my heart and soul to the angels
I gave my blood and skin to the faceless
And my life and love to you, graceless
O you, faithless

random musings - part 1

I have been pondering over the truth of these words.
Fight first with your head, and then with your heart. And think, hate, love.
Human emotions and the way we make choices are way too complex to try to sort or understand. It is important to have reason and practicality in everything we do or make happen.


I tend to get very obsessed about certain things. Things I feel strongly about or ones I am deeply interested in. The infatuation grips me like a fever. It takes away a lot of my time which is not a very nice thing to happen especially at times like these. I guess the best thing to do is to get yourself involved in lots of things just to get your mind off a single one.


At times, I feel like a teenager. With a lot of confused thoughts and feelings. And uncontrollable periods of moodiness.


Today at dinner time I found myself suddenly plunged into a deep philosophical discussion on an individual's style, whether he lives solely for himself or for the world, free will and the truth of our choices.
Is everything that is going to happen in our lives written by the hand of fate or do we truly determine our choices and the course of our lives? No one knows for sure. But I do believe that destiny has a path sketched for all of us. Whether that path has our choices written on it or not, I do not know, though I believe so. Faced with making a choice at any point of time, I do not know what is already written or what I am meant to choose. So, at that point of time, from my perspective, it is still a choice that I make under my own free will. Maybe, the truth of that choice, from a universal point of view, is questionable. But, it is still an individual's decision whether to agree or decline,go for one way or another, work hard or waste away.


I really like these lyrics
"rakh nahin parda koi mujhse aye jaan" from zara sa (jannat)
"tujhme hai kuch aisi subah sa, jiski khatir main tha jaga sa" from maahi (raaz)
Why? Good question. I feel this strong emotional attachment to them, though I cannot really relate to them through any personal experiences.

In retrospect

I apologize if the previous article sounds crazy or weird. It was written before a WAC submission and all sorts of wild ideas kept popping into my head. :) And I felt like there was no better time to pursue all the leisurely activities in the world. Watch movies, go out, eat, write, play, dance. A very common feeling before exams. :)

I got terribly drunk yesterday night, first time in my life I was actually drunk and had no idea what I was doing or saying. Woke up with a spinning head, shivering hands and aching legs. Been sleeping more or less continuously for the last 17 hours coz the moment i stay awake longer than 15 minutes I start aching all over again. So I learnt some important things from yesterday night:

a.) Do not mix a drink when you are drunk. You tend to make it very strong, getting you even more drunk.

b.) Having two different drinks just doesn't work for me. Learnt that during New Year, reiterated yesterday.

c.) Watching other drunk people do crazy dances n stuff, say stupid things is definitely funnier and more entertaining than doing them yourself.

No drinking for some time now. :)

Of cats

They were nothing more than three balls of fur; orange, stone black, and white gray. Still babies, with beautiful black eyes. Perched atop a giant brown mountain. Cuddled tightly against one another, fast asleep. Pretty cute. They woke with a start, sharpened instincts of their kind sensing danger, staring at the approaching stranger with big mystical eyes. Moved like liquid flow, as they shot off to find places to hide.

I was amazed at the tantalizing grace of those soft paws. Silk like bodies with a feline sort of sensuality. Nymphomaniacs gliding away. Leaping so quietly, landing on a rock outcrop, decorated in turquoise. From there onto a lime spring. With snake like charm. Always judging the world. Stunned, mystified by the human hand that touched. Unlike their mother. She easily sensed a threat, gave a warning purr, moved to scratch.

Unshaped personalities, purposeless roaming, like their roadside and forest neighbors, the dogs, wolves, fox. Not yet fierce guardians of their territories. Limbs not those of a powerful predator. Silence not mastered. The beauty more infant. A mere shadow of the stunning beauty and immense power. Quiet, stealthy, seductive, as she walks. Never denied her royalty in the terrain she moves in. A beautiful golden beast. The tiger looks upon the girl with proud contempt and fitting arrogance. She slithers up the tree, lithe, agile, canny, calculating, scheming. The leopard knows the killer. The mistress must wait. As always.